So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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