I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
