I want to stick my p in your. b.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
