this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
