I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
