im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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