is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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