it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize