nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
