the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
