First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
