idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The best revenge is premature balding
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
