Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
