some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
