i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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