is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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