my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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