3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
