That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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