Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
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