Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
