It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
