Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
