We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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