If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
