i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize