At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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