I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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