i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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