I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
