Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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