Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
