so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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