I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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