you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
