Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
