Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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