I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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