apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize