Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
