I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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