Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
