Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
