apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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