They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
