Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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