Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
so let's talk penis.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize