Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
