So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize