two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
