I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize