I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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