So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
