i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
