I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
