I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I wish there were birth control emojis
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
