White coat. Heels.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
