she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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