Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm so fucking centered right now
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
