Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
