I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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