please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
