The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
