Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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