You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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