Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
