Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you win again, gameday.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
