Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
