My balls are so social today.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
