I hate all girls vehemently.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize