can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
