community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize