All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
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