I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
